May 2006

5/25/06 Thursday

I have been so deliquent and I haven’t been keeping up with this recollections journal. Things have been real fucked up and I’ve been depressed. I just haven’t been able to motivate myself to do much.

I did do some more portraits for my series, but I’m so self critical I cant appreciate them. Some days I think I need real therapy, but it’s something I can’t commit to. So I guess I will go on living my life with self-doubt and self-esteem issues…

But the good news is I landed a new job. I should start in the next few weeks as a Retail Photography Manager. The pay isn’t the greatest, but it will be another notch in my resume belt. Hopefully in the next few years the economy will pick up and I can look for another job. I’m just thankful I got this one. The job itself scares me a little, but should be challenging and hopefully exciting working with sharks.

5/26/06 Friday

Went to see The Proposition, a new movie written by Nick Cave. I was absolutely fascintated by it. It was set in Austrailian Outback around the 1880s or so. The scenery was amazing, so stark, it made you feel hot and sweaty just watching it. The story was deep and dark yet slow moving. I enjoyed it, the history and the coming together of 2 worlds, the British aristocracy and the outbacks lawless inhabitants.

5/27/06 Saturday

Why is some grass seed is so cheap?

It all started 3 years ago when the city widened the street in front of my house. At first it was cool cuz they were fixing the sidewalk. The root system of the two huge Maples in front of the house were pushing the sidewalks up and destroying them. When they dug up the street I was amazed that there were old trolley tracks and a cobblestone road under our street.

Well the city fixed the curbs and sidewalk alright, but for some reason took a huge chunk out of our front yard while pulling up the sidewalk. The only yard on the block, it wsa like the workman were annoyed with the trees. They laid new sod to cover what they did and we didn’t think much of it at first, but the sod never really flourished.

The next year we tried and tried to revive it, even laid down more grass seed, but it just never worked out. So we waited a year to pull up the sod, then realized why it never grew in certain parts. Where they had taken a chunk out of our yard, they just filled it in with rocks and crap soil that literally looked like clumped shit, probably just clay. But by that time it was too late, the city said the sod was only guaranteed for a year. So we dug up all the sod, and the crap and put in new soil, lawn edging and laid down grass seed. It was finally beautiful again, green lush grass.

SO this year the grass didn’t come back, all that hard work done in vain.

Then someone asked me if I had bought the cheap grass seed. Well of course I did, what’s the difference right? Well I found out that CHEAP grass seed is annual, not perennial. Why the fuck would they sell grass seed that only lasts a year? Who the fuck would willingly buy annual grass seed? That makes no fucking sense.

So finally today I bought perennial grass seed, even with the big 5-10 dollar price difference. If I never have to worry about my front lawn again I will be a happy lady!!

So I am feeling better about life, that usually shows when I actually spend time working on my flowers in the yard. Today I planted rose bushes in the back yard, bulbs on the pet cemetery, and sunflowers along the fence. Two months worth of planting in one day. And now at 9 pm on Saturday night I am too exhausted to move. And I haven’t even gotten to the front yard. Maybe tomorrow.

5/30/06 Tuesday

I love my mechanic!! He is the only guy I trust, years ago he won my heart with being so honest. He told me it is more important to have happy customers who keep coming back, then screwing them over to make a buck.

I went in there today expecting to spend over 500 bucks, but it turns out that rattling I heard was something simple and only cost me $200.

WOOHOO! SO I went shopping afterwards. I didn’t buy anything exciting, just plants and a bunch if lilac bushes for the back yard. Then I went home to finally do some painting on the front porch that I had been putting off.

I went outside to sweep the porch to paint it when a guy who had just gotten off the bus asked me to use my phone. I was reluctant at first but he said he needed it to call the police after being attacked on the bus. Turns out his ex stabbed him on the bus, it wasn’t a bad wound, but I felt bad for him. Then his ex comes walking down the street talking shit. Luckily the cops showed up with an ambulance and the situation was handled. It was my bit of good kharma for the day, but I wonder what the neighbors thought of everything.

So then I go inside and my new job called and asked if I could do the pre-employment drug screen ASAP. So I threw on some half decent clothes and drop off to pee in a cup…

Compared to the last 2 months it was an exciting day. SO much accomplished!

5/31/06 Wednesday

Started orientation for my new job. Wasn’t anything super exciting. I really do hate the Mall of America.